Hasta Mañana

 · 
October 3, 2007

Well, chicos y chicas, the time has come to swing open the corral gate and let this pony go. I've got a couple films I'm trying to usher into production as well as the pointed elbows of another script idea poking me with annoying persistence. I'm afraid it is time to move on.

I've greatly enjoyed writing the Delirious blog and I'm sad to see it end. Through these ramblings I have met an astonishing number of remarkable people. My greatest delight has been in hearing your thoughts and sharing my own with you. Your genuine curiosity, support, honesty and encouragement have been amazing; and they've been invaluable to me.

I have to thank Chioke Nassor for forcing me to write the blog in the first place. Chioke was a complete stranger until he came up to me with a gun at a screening of the film and introduced himself. In addition to suggesting the blog as a way to promote the film, Chioke came up with the concept of the videoskits. I helped him write some of them but he produced, directed and edited them entirely on his own. I'm enormously proud of his accomplishment, particularly the Gina Gershon Sex tape which has now received over 145,000 hits on YouTube.

To Mona from The Illustrious Steve Buscemi: you offered brisk, slap-in-the-face advice right from the beginning that woke me up to the artistic obligations of blogging like a brisk slap in the face. Not to mention the long hours we spent via email one night as you helped me solve an excruciating computer problem. Thank you so much for your humor, patience and support.

To Chris W, the very first commenter on the blog: your efforts to try and get Delirious onto your local screen are heroic. My sincere gratitude and admiration.

To Michele V. aka SpaceBaby; you are a wonder. All the help you gave by sending Delirious fliers to your contact lists was extraordinary. No less invaluable to me was the straight out, straight up sincerity of your faith and encouragement. Bless you. You introduced me to the indomitable Alex Green who lead me through an exciting and detailed interview for his website, Caught In The Carousel. Thanks for the helping hand, Alex. It's been great sharing music and ideas with you.

To Will Crewdson; what a treat to have met you. I still can't believe you called the UK distributor on my behalf to question them about the DVD release. You are clearly an extremely gifted musician and I know we're going to be hearing more from you. The UK distributor plans a DVD-only release sometime in February.

To David Aaron; I know you're in a tough position being an investor in Gestation but your clear, straightforward interest in the chain of events was very much appreciated. Same goes for my friend Rite as well as UpperWestSide Guy and his wife Olive.  Thank you.

To David Edelburg: you wrote a letter to a snarky critic on behalf of the film earning my sincere gratitude and admiration.

To Kevin Avery and to Rick at Filmlinker: you both were incredibly generous in drawing attention to the blog on your own sites. I thank you and I wish you both the best. Keep up the good work. I extend the same gratitude to Kunal Gulati and Sujewa Ekanayake for also sharing this blog with their own readers.

To Sarah, Damien, Jessica, Victor M in Spain, Harald and his wife in Zurich, the writer Andy Zeffer, the mysterious Skippy Michaels, Nick Detisch and his twin filmmaking brother, Em See Jay in London, Mark TK and Dave Brandler: it has been a real pleasure hearing from you all and getting to know you a little bit.

Post Parting Thoughts

Let me take a moment here and clear up a few, shall we say, exaggerations. Hugh Hefner did screen, and enjoy, Delirious at the Playboy Mansion but, sadly I was not there. I am astounded at the number of people who actually thought I was. It shows either the enormous power of my writing or the enormous willingness of the population to believe utter silliness; either way it may prompt me to start my own religion, write my own Holy Babble and instruct the masses to send me enormous checks every week.

Come on now, people! Did you really think I was sitting in the Grotto with Hugh Hefner wearing a fluorescent orange thong, getting stoned and watching Kevin Costner's toupee float by!? Fer christ's sake!

Also, I am NOT on medication. I should be, but I'm not. The need to address this misconception comes after meeting a friend on the street who's been reading the blog. "So, are the pills from Dr. Owen helping?" he asked with such sincere, infuriating sympathy I wanted to punch him. There is no Dr. Owen, you idiot. And if there was there is nothing he could prescribe that would help me. The best medication for me right now is to get another movie going but if anyone has any liquid Demerol/Valium please send it along.

To my friends at Gestation. Six years is a long time to work on a film. In that time a gigantic reservoir of energy built up; a huge roiling mass of hopes, dreams and expectations born of exhaustingly hard work. Not finding a release in theaters this energy had to go somewhere. I'm sorry if the fictitious form it found in this blog offended you. It was either that or homicide.

To Michael Pitt, real or otherwise. Your performance in Delirious is amazing. I had nothing to do with it of course; everyone knows I was asleep on the sidewalk during all of your scenes. But, I'm sorry you took offense at the video skit we did poking some good-natured fun at the whole publicity thang. If anyone was demeaned in any of the skits it was ME. You may notice I'm on my knees in every single one of them, begging, conniving, lying and betraying every principle I've ever had in a frantic effort to keep the film alive. I come off as a desperate dickwad and the comments are there on YouTube to prove it. And once again, I must thank Chioke Nassor for tricking me into doing this.

To Steve Buscemi and Gina Gershon. Thank you both for your willingness and generosity in doing the skits with us. I had a blast with you. Doing the videos kept me from going completely insane. Watching them now I have only more respect and admiration for your talent.

I will be writing more posts every now and then so please do keep checking in. I just won't be able to do it as regularly as I have been. They don't tell you keeping a blog is a full-time job. I'm exhausted.

I guess I did get a little kkkccrrazscy in these pages. But really, was I any more crazy than my fantasy friends at Gestation who cut off all communication just as the film was being released? How sane is excommunication? Some postulate it is the most destructive thing human beings can do to each other with the sole exception of murder. Just look at the great use the Catholic Church has made of it.

I hold no grudges. All I ever wanted was for people to see the film and for Gestation to make money. I'm sorry it didn't work out. But I will say this: fighting for something you believe in is never wrong. I will never stop doing it.

RULE #1:  Just because someone has all the money doesn't make them right.

RULE #2:  Just because someone has the power to force their decisions on you doesn't make them right.

RULE#3:  The film business is not just about business.

If it was there would never be films like La Strada, Midnight Cowboy, The Seven Samurai, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Mulholland Drive, The Sweet Smell Of Success, The Graduate, Gosford Park, Sunset Boulevard, Breathless, Bonnie and Clyde, The 400 Blows, Badlands, The Conformist, The Asphalt Jungle, Psycho, A Place In The Sun, Dog Day Afternoon, Key Largo, Night of The Hunter, Drugstore Cowboy, Mean Streets, Stranger Than Paradise, La Dolce Vita, Two Lane Blacktop, Double Indemnity, Sex Lies and Videotape, Do The Right Thing, Husbands and Wives, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill, The Wedding Banquet, Lilya 4-Ever, Belle du Jour, Little Big Man, The Thin Red Line, Rashomon, Secrets and Lies, A Hard Day's Night, Touch of Evil, The Conversation, Boys Don't Cry, Bob le Flambeur, Fargo, Salaam Bombay, Wild Strawberries, Dr. Strangelove, Aguirre The Wrath of God ...
Comments
Tom
Hey leesa,
Great to hear from you.
I am still here. You should read forward; there a quite a few more posts that I started again after this one.
I’m sorry you missed Delirious. It showed at the SF Film Festival last year. It has been released on DVD. Again, if you read through some of the more recent blogs you’ll be able to follow that development.
Thanks so much for your kind words and support.
I like your eye. I try to put in as many details as I can, given the time and budget. I’ve always felt it is these intricate layers of significance that help give a film meaning. The trick is to not get too hung up on them because then you could spend 2 years doing one shot.
But, yeah–things sitting on tables. Shelly’s earrings. Everything seen in the film has the potential to add to the story. I see life a certain way I guess and I just try to portray it that way in my films. I find beauty in odd things. And, I love trying to find the specific beauty in each film.
It is not that expensive to do, once you have a sense of what your eye is telling you.
My best to you. I hope you find a copy of Delirious somewhere.
Tom
leesa
Hi Tom (If you are still there(?))
I’m a big fan (betcha never heard that one)… I have all your great movies… even the laser disc of Johnny… But I am trying to see Delirious… somewhere… I musta blinked and missed it here in SF. Is there a NY Art Houses that might still be showing it… or even a crappy quality D/L somewhere to hold me over till the Official release is… released?
I really appreciate your “art,” sir. It has a wonderful Indy quality but with insanely high standards for Cinematography. All your films are beautiful looking!
It’s so nice to see that someone who marches to their own drummer can produce something that rivals or exceeds the Studios and their big Production money.
Your work seems very personal, but it is also very accessible. It is an experience for me very similar to watching Northern Exposure… where it seems very up front and clever (but not too clever), and is immediately accessible… yet every time I re-watch it… i see a little bit more… things sitting on tables… Shelly’s earrings…
Thanx again for all your hard work.
~leesa
Tom
Hey Don,
Thanks for writing in. I will keep my chin up. Don’t worry. I guess I wouldn’t feel so frustrated if I felt the film was a piece of crap. It is much harder to see something that has some actual value being treated so carelessly and stupidly by its own distributors.
I loved being in France this year doing the promotion for Delirious. I met many people and had long, detailed conversations about their reactions to the film. One guy said he was disappointed because the film did not have sections of Black&White the way Oblivion did.
I was surprised to see the extent that people knew Oblivion. I’m so glad you liked the Real Blonde. I think it has some very fine work in it by a lot of people.
Which actor have we directed together?
best,
Tom
don device
Hi Mr de Cillo,
Just a word to say I saw your film ‘delirious’ twice here in France, once with 3 others and the cinema was pretty full of folks enjoying it in a frank, reassuring manner.
i’ve been a fan since ‘living in oblivion’ (here called ‘ça tourne à manahttan , or ‘it’s being shot in manhattan’, a typicallyterrible French title, though you seem quite loved here….)
We’ve even directed one of the same actors…
‘The Real Blonde’ (‘une vraie blonde’) is a real classic…
Keep your chin up,
don device
Tom
Hello Jane,
Yes, you never can tell in this business. I certainly was thrown for a loop by what happened with Delirious. You should check out the official Delirious site (www.deliriousthemovie.com) and just glance at some of the recognition the film had garnered before its “release”. Any other independent film with that kind of support would have eagerly ushered into the marketplace. Not so with my bunch.
Anyway, the DVD is next; set to come out mid March.
Nice chatting with you.
best,
Tom
Hey Tom,
Thanks for your comment and the blogroll placement, that’s a honor! Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Delirious. I certainly would like to, it’s obviously a film worth watching. While earlier plans for distribution may not have worked out, the film may still find its legs. I don’t have to tell you how crazy this business is. There are some very disappointing experiences, but the scene can turn on an unexpected beat, resulting in something unexpectedly positive.
Best,
Jane
Tom
Hey Jessica,
Great to hear from you. I am extremely pleased you enjoyed some of the ramblings here. I did too. Not all of them. In some ways I’m still in a state of shock as to how Gestation handled the theatrical “release”. But, I fought my fight. It helped having readers and supporters like you.
I’ll be back.
best,
Tom
I’m sad to see the blog come to an “end”, but it’s been a pleasure reading it and I’ll be sure to keep checking back every now and then. You are fantastic and I really enjoyed reading everything you posted here; it’s always nice getting to know what’s going on with people, in fantasy world, the real world, or wherever, and if I hadn’t already figured that you were a funny, creative guy from seeing what films of yours that I’ve seen, this blog surely proved it.
I can’t wait for Delirious to be out on DVD. Good luck with your future projects!
Smooches~
Jessica
Tom
Hola Victor!
It gives me great pleasure to see Delirious just below Another Gay Movie on the Spanish Box Office charts.
Perhaps you are right that the pirated version Damien is referring to is a porno movie. I did make a porno version of the film that included sex scenes that have never before been filmed by human beings. These scenes are so extraordinary, so beautiful, so magnificently artistic, so spiritual and so filthy and perverted that I know I should get my picture on the cover of one or two cinema magazines with the word “Genius” written in big red letters.
very best,
Tom
I’m surprised by the Damien post. But I was investigating and I only could find a pornographic movie called Delirious on the Internet. Here in Spain we always have problems with people who sell in the street bad copies of the movies recorded in the cinema. And the police don’t do nothing!!! And these same bad copies are sometimes on the Internet. However, people are not idiot and they know that this shit sold in the street or downloadable by the internet is that: pure shit, bad sound, bad quality of image. Definitely the best you can do is buy the DVD and contribute with the people who makes you laugh, cry, enjoy and above all live. I must learn English at once, I know it.
Ah, like you know, Delirious was in the spanish cinemas in May, I have a list with the collection of your film and anothers more films with similar collections in Spain(though this movies were little time in our cinemas, a shame by Delirious, but I had luck and I could see it):
spectators/collection
TIDELAND Canada-Reino Unido 6.974 43.022,70 €
OFFSIDE Irán 7.403 39.691,44 €
TENEMOS UN PROBLEMA GORDO Francia 7.069 38.991,37 €
13 TZAMETI Francia-Georgia 7.312 37.984,45 €
LA GANADORA Estados Unidos 7.003 37.209,40 €
RIVER QUEEN Reino Unido-Nueva Zelanda 7.288 37.019,65 €
ANOTHER GAY MOVIE Estados Unidos 6.316 36.311,70 €
DELIRIOUS Estados Unidos 6.444 35.845,01 €
RECORTES DE MI VIDA Estados Unidos 6.325 33.079,65 €
UN BUDA Argentina 5.561 32.809,90 €
HISTORY BOYS Reino Unido 5.898 31.543,59 €
BOY CULTURE Estados Unidos 5.275 31.059,23 €
Hasta otro día, Víctor.M
Tom
Thanks Damian,
I just forwarded the address to my financiers to at least alert them as to what’s going on.
The official DVD is going to be great though, with some cool extras, so hold out for it, me brotha.
Thanks for the tip.
best,
Tom
No, it’s not for sale. It’s a torrent, an .avi file,
I think they’re untouchable, though. Not only is it kind of “out of their hands,” but the laws in Sweden are very lax when it comes to copyright. They even flaunt all the letters they’ve received as threats, from big ass companies, too. And if it’s a torrent already, well, it’s most likely on other peer to peers, as well.
I reckon, however, most of your fans will purchase the DVD, if and when given the chance. The bulk of downloads out there, I believe, are a result of a greedy industry and, well, perhaps a greedy human nature.
Anyway, good luck,
Damien
Tom
Hey Damien,
Do mean it is for sale on the web? Can you forward me the link and I’ll bust a cap in their ass?
Thanks, bro.
Tom
Hi, Tom,
Don’t know what you’ll think about this, or if you already know, or if you’ll want to know, but your movie is on the net–in spanish! I don’t know how people get stuff on the intenet before the movies even seem to be in production. I guess it goes to show that people wanted to really see this movie. And no “theatrical lobotomy” was going to stop them. Just too bad it couldn’t be turned into a source of revenue for you, for the time being.
Take care,
Damien
Tom
Hey Sarah,
The most amazing thing to me is that you went away to midterms and came back to this blog. It is precisely this that causes me the most regret about slipping away from Delirious. As I said to Olive, there is nothing else I can do to help the film. Gestation has effectively given the film a lobotomy theatrically. There are already signs the DVD release will be no different.
I’ll be writing in from time to time though.
best,
Tom
Tom
Hey Olive,
What a wonderfully sweet note. Thanks so much. You’re making it hard for me to ease away from this thing. I grew very attached to sharing my thoughts with you all. But, the truth is there is not much else I can do or say about Delirious. I’m so immensely thrilled that you still have your ticket stubs. You can count yourselves as two of the lucky few who got to see the film on the screen, and as two people to whom I will always be indebted.
I’ll be back.
best,
Tom
Sarah
Wow I go away to take midterms and come back to this. That’s ok. Well, I can’t wait to see Delirious and wish you the bestest of the best luck with your new projects. Your blog was insightful and funny and I’ll miss reading. I’ve got some free time now so I’ve got to go catch up with all the posts I missed.
Olive S.
Dear Tom,
I’m actually a touch teary reading your blog today. Yes, the pollen count is probably up in NYC this morning (hence, the watery eyes) but I’m also realizing how much I’m going to miss your frequent posts. Guess I have to be willing to sacrifice the reading of your words here for the new projects you will be busy creating. In the meantime, me and Upper West Side Guy will keep our ticket stubs from Delirious up on our fridge until we can replace them with those from your next film. We’ll be waiting…
Olive
harald betke
dear tom, thank you, that you mentioned my and my wife in your last blog. i am the one to thank you for your blog and insights. i am very happy for the opportunity to see your films and i am looking forward for more to come. and i am very happy that my feelings, that behind the movies is an outstanding personality was approved.
all the best.
harry
Thanks for the kind words Tom. I look forward to hearing more about your future projects and ultimately seeing ‘em on the big screen.
All the best,
Rick
Good luck, Tom.
And, seriously, thanks for the integrity; you’re a bloodless diamond.
I’ll check back, time to time. Look forward to Delirious and all the rest.
Peace,
Damien
Tom,
Thank you for your kind mention of me and my blog. Believe me, the pleasure was all mine.
Don’t be a stranger.
Kevin
chidder.livejournal.com
Tom
Hey Will,
Good to hear from you. Thanks for the tip on the new Johnette Napolitano cd. It is pretty amazing. And your guitar work on “Scarred” perfectly completes the song. I can see why they wanted/needed your talent on it.
best,
Tom
Tom
Victor M,
I love your English, my friend. “Mousehole” is superb. I don’t know that much Spanish but I do think the word “chica” is one of the most delightful words in any language.
Next time you’re in your friend’s father’s house check around for some Demorol. I can’t take Valium without it.
Hasta luego, caballero.
Tom
Tom,
It’s been a privilege and a pleasure to read your blog but you have the best excuse in the world to stop. Roll on the next DiCillo masterpiece. So good to hear Delirious will make it over here soonish but I’m sure I’ll fork out for an import before then cos I can’t wait!
Will
Well, señor Dicillo, I only can say thank you. Thanks for your gratitude. I enjoyed reading this blog. It’s a shame that my mediocre English don’t allow me express everything what I want to say. I’m out of practice.
Tom, you are the absolute master and I will continue watching your movies in the cinema, in the television, in the Playboy Mansion, in the jail, in my mousehole, anywhere. I take off my hat before you. One more time, thank you.
And If I see somebody trying to download one of your films by the internet I give him/her a beating.
I like your Spanish. Best regards, Víctor.M
Postscript: My best friend’s father is doctor and he has in his house a great quantify of valium, I could get a lot of them(for me).
Tom
Aw, thanks Mona. Coming from you the Master that is indeed high praise. We’ll stay in touch, I’m sure. And you keep those keys a’clickin’ with your own very special literary gems.
yore pal,
Tom
Tom
Hello Keto,
Thank your for writing. Dito is a great friend of mine and a wonderfully talented filmmaker. He told me he stole a DVD of Living In Oblivion in Berlin and is providing copies to select cinephiles with the proper papers.
I would like to read your scripts but unfortunately I am entering a very busy time right now. I don’t think I could give them the proper time and attention they would deserve. I’m sorry. Perhaps a few months from now.
In any event, I wish you the best. Keep your eyes open. And keep writing.
Most Sincerely,
Tom
You can manipulate the size, color and style of text; you can make proper links; you haven’t thrown your computer out the window; supposedly, you still have trees. Clearly, my work here is done.
Keep in touch. I am so proud of you.
Keto Giorgobiani
Dear Mr. Dicillo,
I’m a student from Georgia (home country of Otar Ioseliani and Dito Tsintsadze). I am one of your biggest fans and feel really sorry that there are no your movies in Georgia. I always want to show Delirious or Living in Oblivion to my friends but unfortunately I just have no chance to do it:( I’ve tried to find some ways to contact you but haven’t found anything except this way to leave my comment. Your opinion is very important for me as for a beginner. I got some scripts and if you have a bit time I’d be very happy to send them to you.
Best regards from Tbilisi
Keto Giorgobiani:)

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TOM DICILLO

Independent Filmmaker & Musician