Well, the actual Grammy arrived yesterday. I’m glad it did. It has a great weight to it. And I like the shape; it’s like a big, shiny, metal flower.

I’d been waiting for it as a motivation to put up a fresh post. I hear you, Elaine–I have been remiss. I do miss the exchanges with everyone; and god knows there are so many things to write about.

Osama dead in Pakistan, Obama born in America and Donald Trump clearly from Moronica. I feel it only fair that Trump now explains without reservation why he persists in wearing a dead cat on his head.

For me things are up in the air right now. So much seems so nebulous; which is probably why I’ve avoided trespassing here; it means having to face and acknowledge the actual state of things.

I’m going to Germany at the end of June. The Munich Film Festival is having a retrospective of all my films, from Johnny Suede to When You’re Strange. I’m excited by this, and incredibly honored, but a part of me flinches at the reminder of how many years have passed since I made Delirious.

There is progress on raising financing for the three feature scripts I’ve written. It comes in fractions of inches, but it comes. Someone asked me recently how I keep going. The question unsettled me. I couldn’t answer right away. Part of me was wondering if the question inferred another question, “Why do you keep going?”

I finally responded that I’ve had some thrilling successes and some crushing disappointments but since none of the setbacks have rendered me physically incapacitated I really have no excuse to keep me from picking up the phone and starting another round of calls.

But, for the first time I also answered that deep within my being I believe I have a vision that is unique; at least one that is absolutely particular to me. And I feel an unexplainable obligation to nurture, sustain and support that crazy thang.

Posted by:Tom

18 thoughts on “ 90. NECTAR ”

  1. Tom, congrats on actually having the Grammy in hand. Also, hang in there. Life is all about perservering and belief in self (especially in your line of work). You’ve already proved to the world you have these qualities, the proof being the Grammy award for WYS. Good luck and full speed ahead!

  2. Nice trophy, Tom. Never doubt your talents, rather question those who don’t see them! I look forward to your next project(s). Geez, I just realized I spent last weekend in NYC & didn’t even give you a call. Forgive me. 😉

    Your pal,


  3. Hey Tom,

    The photo of the Grammy is beautiful. A great treasure to add to your artistic collection, a symbol of hard work and time you put into the film during and long after it left your hands. Thanks for sharing the photo with us here 🙂 After all, some of us remember the very first post when you told us you’d relocated to CA to work on the film 🙂

    Nurturing and preserving one’s artistic passion is sometimes tough to do in this world of moronica. And there are those who may ask what keeps you going–perhaps their hidden meaning is, as you say, *why* do you keep going. But I don’t think it’s a question asked out of judgment; it’s more like an incredulous respect because so many people don’t put forth the effort anymore. At least this is the way I see it and answer, when people ask why do I continue to write when the road to publication is so tough.

    Many are accustomed to the easy way. Just tonight I asked someone who’d bought a house where in the city it was located. They couldn’t answer me, they claimed they got there by using a GPS on their car. Such things baffle me. It’s the instant-easy route that makes the difficult and steadfast road seem like a rarity, so when someone stumbles upon it, it’s like looking at a rare jewel.

    Stick to your vision, Tom.

    I’m glad to hear there’s some progress on your scripts. I hope things continue in a positive direction. And any word on when the Black & Blue Orkestre will do another song?

    We’ve missed you. Glad to see you’ve resurfaced 🙂

  4. Tom, it’s wonderful to hear from you again and to know what you’re thinking (somewhat) right now. The Grammy is glorious and something that you can always be proud of! I think there are more major awards waiting for you in a career that is long from over yet! You DO have a unique vision (obviously the Germans can see that – I’m half-German – point in case) and the combination of perfect script and timely opportunity that presents itself will appear when it’s meant to. Three feature scripts is such a big accomplishment alone, even if they’re not quite perfect yet…they will be. Do what it takes to inspire the muse and know that there are people out here who deeply admire and respect you and your work. You’ve given us several films we’ll never forget and your work is immortal on celluloid.

    Stay healthy, happy and horny for storytelling and we’ll be watching you at the Academy Awards some day!

    All my best,

  5. Hey Tom,

    Man, I have never wanted to go to Munich as much as I do right now, to see all of your films on a cinema screen would truly be a pleasure. I would absolutely love to go, but since I lost my film critic job recently finances are particularly tight, I may hold my own DiCillo season right here at home 🙂 Thank you for making my brief two year stint as a film journalist the most exciting time of my life so far, I hold our magazine interview as my proudest and most thrilling moment; I may still do the odd freelance gig but my regular column is gone, I am also giving some lectues throughout the summer on various aspects of film history, can’t wait. My studies continue, an exam next week and then summer holidays, feels like school all over again.

    You are most definitely right, you do have an individual voice in the greater film community, your films are at once aesthetically idiosyncratic and vividly engaging, yet totally approachable to those not who are not regulars in the arthouse loop, for me The Real Blonde is the greatest American ensemble comedy/drama since Allen’s Hannah and Her Sisters or Altman’s M.A.S.H., a Hollywood film in the greatest sense of the word; the many people I have shown that film to all agree it is a fine piece of work, it is just extremely unfortunate that the marketing people don’t exploit the commercial possibilities inherent in your work.

    Keep it up, sir! For the sake of those of us holding out for the few great films that creep out every now and then, the minority that aren’t superhero films and/or 3D monstrosities.


  6. Hey Dennis C,
    Thanks very much for your kind words. Your advice is sound and I appreciate it.
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving in, or giving up. Just expressing some thoughts about exactly where I’m at right now.
    Truth is a useful, if sobering tonic.

  7. Hey Rai,
    It’s not that I doubt my talents (more my sanity). I’m just looking at the years behind and the years ahead and trying to get a sense of where I’m headed.

    But rest assured, I’m pushing on and I am more proud of this Grammy than anything.

  8. Hey there Elaine,
    I’ve missed you too. You know, they never tell you that keeping up these blogs is a lot of work!
    I think maybe a few people got the wrong idea from the post. I’m not in a funk, nor am I despairing. I’m just calling it like it is. I will continue to make films By Any Means Necessary.
    In fact, I’m driving my team (and myself) a little crazy by trying to move all three scripts forward simultaneously. The good news is that there is interest in all three.
    That is an amazing anecdote about the people and the GPS. You should definitely put that in your latest opus.
    But, seriously, thanks so much for your unending support. It means a lot and I most sincerely send the exact same wish and sentiment back to you.

  9. Hey Christine,
    “Happy, healthy and horny for storytelling.” I like that. It’s true; there is a necessary ingredient for the artistic effort that is very reliant upon the libido.
    Sam Fuller said about screenwriting, “If your first scene doesn’t give you a hardon, throw it out.”
    Thanks so much for your encouragement. I appreciate it. But, somehow the post seems to have been interpreted with a despair I did not intend. I thought it was actually kind of positive the way it ended. And it is the truth. That is a new awareness for me, and for what it’s worth I do believe it.
    Will Crewdson is stranded out in LA but I think he’s digging it. I’ve got another Black & Blue song ready for him to embellish as soon as he stumbles home.
    My best to you.

  10. Wayne,
    I’m distressed to hear you’re not writing film criticism right now. Voices like yours are so rare, and so necessary.
    I’m glad you’re still in school though. Have you made any more films?

    I appreciate your sentiments about The Real Blonde. I like the film but I would like it more if I hadn’t given in to the pressure to cut out some of my favorite (and boldest) scenes. The film had a much sharper edge to it that may not have appealed to “broader audiences” as the producers desired, but it was closer to me, and my sensibilities.

    Although the pressure was intense and relentless (basically blackmail) afterwards I made a vow to myself to never, ever let that happen again.

    Great to hear from you, Wayne.

  11. Hey Stuart,
    As usial, thanks for the stimulation and whetting my artistic curiosity. No, I have not considered a film on Bobby Sands. I’m trying to get these 3 scripts of my own off the ground right now but, I will check out those links.
    hope all is well,

  12. Hey Tom,

    My curiosity has just been awakened, those missing scenes from The Real Blonde sound like treasure to such a fan as myself, I hope Lakeshore or Paramount get the finger out and give you call for those scenes someday for a re-release of the DVD. I say “re-release” because the fuckers have deleted it over here, no high-street retailer can even order it. I had to rummage second hand shops to find my copy. Some companies are unbelievable, they have a film in their vaults yet fans who are willing to part with cash for a legit copy are forced to seek it out elsewhere; I persevered and succeeded in finding a copy.

    Thank you for the kind words, my friend. I believe I got cut because, first of all, pressure of cinema advertising; I would be reviewing the latest fucking Toy Story, giving it a bad-to-moderate review while on the same page there was a huge poster campaign advertising the movie. One cinema manager complained to me “that you don’t like movies, why are you a reviewer?!” So there is the mentality, if you don’t like Transformers 29 or Fast & Furious: Rise of the Toyota you are deemed to be against the art of filmmaking. In the end, a new editor came in and chopped the paper. Now it is pretty much just advertisements.

    I don’t get to make another movie now until my third year I believe, next year we focus on script-writing, I can’t wait. I have my movie on disc, it’s only a tiny three minute movie but part of me is proud of it, I like the editing and composition of the shots.

    That shot of your Grammy makes me very happy. To look back at the blogs during the making of WYS and to now see such recognition after completion and exhibition is immensely fulfilling. Well done again, sir!


  13. Hey Tom,

    I’m glad to hear there’s progress on your 3 scripts 🙂 I never doubted your resilient passion for making films…just thought I detected a note of melancholy in your post about how up in the air things were. But in many ways, what’s behind the future curtain only adds excitement to the mix. Glad you’re doing well and that we’ll soon hear more Black & Blue Orkestre music!

    Wayne – I’m sorry to hear you’re not writing film reviews anymore. Your explanation on why is illuminating; it shows the state of things and how powerful advertising has become. I hope you continue to enjoy film school and hey, if you have anything you can post online, please do and give us a link to watch, k?

    The Munich trip sounds like a real honor, Tom, please blog about it and show us pics of the event.


  14. Wayne – by the way, your reference to “Fast and Furious: Rise of the Toyota” made me laugh for 5 minutes! Thanks for the chuckle 🙂


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