This just in: I've just been informed that someone claiming to be Michael Pitt has sent word (again) that he will not be doing any press for Delirious. According to this "Michael Pitt" he was going to do press until he saw the fake video podcast we made in which Kieran Culkin agrees to play a character named Michael Pitt in order to do a great press opportunity for Delirious by appearing on Letterman.
I know this alleged "Michael Pitt" is an impostor. His real name is probably Michael Pite, or Mitchell Tipp or Mickey Pittle. The real Michael Pitt is more than smart enough to know that any press opportunities for him to help promote Delirious ended 3 months ago. In fact we have a very gracious letter from his agent/lawyer/life coach, dated June 11, 2007, that clearly states the real Michael Pitt would not be doing any press for Delirious. So, watch out the fake "Michael Pitt." We're on to you.
And now some apologies are in order. Apparently the folks at Gestation (a fictitious company) have taken offense at the way they (fictitious people) have been portrayed in several of the blogs. I take complete responsibility for this indiscretion and do hereby offer my sincere regrets.
First to "Arnold." I am truly sorry for making you nothing more than a half-formed idea. I don't know what I was thinking. It was wretchedly cruel of me to imagine you into life so incompletely. I don't even know if you are young or old, black or white, thin or fat. "Arnold", my deepest apologies. You do not exist. What fate could be worse? You have no company called "Gestation." You have no vintage pinball machines in your non-existent office for "flair." Alas, you have no flair.
You do have a "wife" but I'm sorry to say she is not losing weight. Perhaps of more immediate concern is the fact that she doesn't have a face. I never got around to giving her one. I'm sorry.
And now, to "George." It's time to fess up. You do exist. You're based on a gay man I knew once whom I liked a lot. I figured making you straight and giving you a wife would be the most foolproof way to keep people from ever suspecting you were actually Jorge Mipple from 17724 El Camino Drive, LA, CA. I'm sorry to out you like this Jorge but the time of lies and deceit is over.
You were the only one who actually had a film company though it's real name was Turd de Force, not "Gestation." It was to this company that I first submitted Delirious in September of 2004. I was so impressed with your company logo I saved it. I present it now as proof of your existence and as a further expression of my admiration of its originality.
All of my revelations about your "character" were formed during my visits to your Los Angeles office where we discussed the script. You had a monkey; a spidery little ringtail named Cheeko who was so smart he could roll his poopies up into tight little balls and hurl them at people in the room.
Perhaps it was the repeated exposure to this unrelenting simian abuse that prompted my less than flattering portrait of you in some of the blogs. This is a miserable excuse but sadly it is the only one I can think of. I state here publicly and without duress, that except for your being a prick, everything else I wrote about you was made up.
Actually, it was my friend Jimmy who said you were a prick but he's made up too and he should know better.
So, let's recap. There is no "Gestation". There is no "Arnold." There is a "George" but he's really Jorge. There is a monkey. As for Jimmy, that issue is still being discussed by Dr. Owen and myself. Nonetheless I would ask my readers to rigorously bear these truths in mind whenever these fake characters have the nerve to reappear.
I own a ’64 SS-4L in primo condition which I love. And a Silvertone modelled after the ’65 WG-4L which is silky. I was turned on to the Teisco by Flip Scipio, an amazing guitarist and luthier who lives here in NYC. He did all the work on the two Teiscos with a beautiful, delicate touch and an instinct to just leave things be. I don’t get to play them as much as I’d like what with the FUCKING SHIT going on with Delirious. I checked out the Momentum Pictures UK site and you are right; there is absolutely no mention of Delirious. So, now I’ll have to see what happened.
“Pretty And Twisted” sounds cool. I’ll look around for it.
You keep me posted on what new music you’re making, and listening to.
Thanks for the question about Oblivion. I’ll be contacting you.
I just checked out your site. The music is fantastic. It’s a whole new world of stuff to check out. The Johnette Napolitano cut “Scarred” is awesome, as are your instrumentals. I put a link to your site in my blog roll.
It is astonishing the number of identical influences we have; Wall Of Voodoo, Bo Diddley, Kraftwerk, Yello, Peewee Herman… I had an LP of Bo Diddley’s which I think was called Surfin’ With Bo. It was incredible. I fucking lost it. I do own 2 Teiscos though.
I plan to return to your site frequently to listen and discover.
Thanks for the tip.
schedule, nor that of Revolver (Momentum distributes their product).
Thanks again. I’m very curious to see what you unearth.
What was the nature of your work in the music business?
Thanks for the quick investigative work. This response from Sally Young is truly disturbing…and yet tediously typical at this point. If she really knows nothing about the film then some form of writing is on the wall. Otherwise the only other explanation is that the deal fell apart. Which means for the moment at least there is no plan to release Delirious in the UK, either theatrically or on DVD.
I’m just so thrilled.
Lemme know what you dig up.
know who the distributor is?
Good to hear from you again. Thought maybe we’d lost you after all these years.
Yup, it’s all satire. Everything. Even the reviews. There is no such person as Roger Ebert. In fact, after this “release” there is some question whether I even exist.
But, I’m glad the Top Men are on it. I’d hate to think what might have happened if they’d put the Bottom Men in charge.
Any progress on your probing will be ‘ppreciated.
Send it along.
Rule #1: The bigger the bully the more fragile their feelings. What the hell. Moving on.
I love the crackling logic and humor of your question. You are absolutely right. These “fictitious” people trample through the room wearing cinderblock boots and then their fake feelings get hurt when a fly 2 miles away farts in their direction.
Thanks for writing. I’m glad you stumbled upon us. The distributor “Gestation” is now secluding any info on what is happening with Delirious outside the US in a small box somewhere in Los Angeles.